Ascending My High Horse

High-ho Silver, Away! The Cheap Chick Rides Again.

Tip Of The Day: Super-kick-ass-AWESOME sales going on this Memorial Weekend. And why I feel guilty about them.

Tip For Tomorrow: This week on Group Therapy Thursday, we’re exploring the dread topic (no, not Dread Pirate) of buyer’s remorse. What have you dropped a load on that you now regret buying?

Further Elucidation Of My Cheap Deal: When I think about Memorial Weekend, I think about spending time with my family, not having to work on Monday, not having to do much real estate stuff, and shopping at awesome sales.

AND THAT IS JUST PLAIN WRONG, PEOPLE. Memorial Day is not about saving 50% off specially marked merchandise, or buy-one-get-one free deals. Memorial Day is supposed to be about honoring our fallen soldiers.

According to the Source Of All Knowledge (Wikipedia), Memorial Day: “commemorates U.S. men and women who have died in military service to their country. It began first to honor Union soldiers who died during the American Civil War. After World War I, it was expanded to include those who died in any war or military action.”

Do you see any mention of a three day sale? Or how it’s a great weekend to go up north and open up the cabin? Yeah, NO.

However, I am your Cheap Chick and this is Cheap But Not Easy. I maintain a politic/religion-free zone here, so when I talk about Memorial Weekend, I need to talk about the sales – not about soldiers or fallen soldiers or war or whether or not I agree with the war… you get the idea.

But let me say this before I move on: please honor the soldiers this weekend in any way you see fit. It is a cheap and fabulous thing to do, and they deserve all our love and support.

I am now climbing down from my High Horse. Someone please stable him before he messes up the joint. So, sales! Where should you shop this weekend? I’m not going to talk about the usual suspects – Target, Kohl’s, Macy’s, Herberger’s, Best Buy, Circuit City, Slumberland, Other Random Big Box Stores – instead, I’m focusing on places you may not have thought had Memorial Day sales. Such as:

1. Edressme.com is having a sale on (what else) dresses. Save up to 30% off your designer favorites, like Nanette Lepore or Betsey Johnson. Get something cute and fun to wear to all those summer weddings you’ll be forced to attend.
http://www.edressme.com/maysale.html

2. Amazon.com is having a Kitchen and Home Memorial Day sale, with up to 70% off over 400 different items like small appliances, pet supplies, bedding, cookware, etc. I love 70%; it’s like they’re saying, “here, just take it for FREE and give it a good home.” To which I say, OKAY.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000083331

3. Next 2 New Thrift Store in Oakdale, MN is having a huge sale starting, well, last Monday. But hey! The best is yet to come – Memorial Day they are offering 50% off your entire purchase. When you consider how inexpensive thrift store items already are, it’s like their stuff is going to be FREE.
Call (651) 255-4323 for more information.

4. How’s this for a random sale? Banana Republic – great for clearance, meh for everyday prices – is having a Memorial Weekend Sale, with 30% off denim, pants, shorts, skirts, shoes and purses. Not bad for a store I associate with “too expensive for The Chick.”
http://www.bananarepublic.com/

Sales will abound this weekend, and you can save a ton of money on your summer stuff. But please, don’t forget about WHY we have Memorial Day. I’m just sayin’. Okay, stopping now.

Hi!

How are YOU? Did you miss me? Were you worried about me? Thinking, “I wonder where The Cheap Chick is?”

Or, were you all, “is that lazy slack-ass ever going to post?” Or perhaps, “who the hell does she think she is, not posting before 4 PM, like she’s supposed to?” To which I say, “YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME. I AM THE BOSS OF ME. AND ALSO? SORRY.”

So, with no further delays, or Carrie Bradshaw-esque cutesy introductions, here they are! Ideas for graduation gifts! For high school students facing dorm life next year! Yes, the exclamation points are necessary!

1. Laundry Gift Basket: Give this gift, and maybe your student won’t bring their laundry home every stinkin’ weekend. Freeloading punks.
Laundry basket.
Detergent and fabric softener. Ask the graduates’ moms what they use, so the dorm-livers can recreate that feel of home, on their own.
A roll of quarters.
Instructions on how to actually DO laundry. I put together a whole instruction book, made out of a “Brag Book” photo album ($1.69 at Walgreens) and step by step instructions printed off of my work’s printer. Nothing beats exploiting my company’s office supplies for personal use!

2. Study Guide: This gift was inspired by the care package my Ma sent me during my first finals week.
Noise-cancelling head phones. Cheaper ones are available at Walmart.com, but not at their bricks-and-mortar stores. Annoying, yes, but you get a bigger bang for your buck if you order these off the Interwebs.
Ear plugs. You can find them in the home improvement department at Target.
Instant coffee, for caffeine high sans coffee maker or Starbucks.
A travel coffee mug.
A year’s supply of candy. Just get the stuff with a long shelf life – so chocolate probably isn’t your best bet. Oooo, but Pixie Sticks would be AWESOME.

3. Stay Healthy Doctor’s Kit: Dorms are filthy, nasty places, rife with germs and other ick. With this gift, maybe your college-bound grad won’t get mono their freshman year.
A jumbo bottle of hand sanitizer
A jumbo container of disinfecting wipes
Lysol (or other germ-killing) spray
Vitamin lozenges, like the ones with Vitamin C and Zinc. Or, my personal fave, Emergen-C.
Green tea, filled with antioxidants
Chicken noodle soup – in a can, for that classic “I’m six again, home from school, while my mommy tends to me” taste.

And then, there’s my favorite gift. The one to give, when all else fails.
4. In Case Of Emergency, Open: What you need in any dorm room worst case scenario.
Duct tape – the biggest roll you can find. If you can’t fix it with duct tape, do you REALLY need it?
A heavy flashlight, with extra batteries. Not only a source of light in the darkness, but a handy weapon, too.
A phone card, to call home. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
And – if you don’t think you’ll get in trouble for it – a box of condoms. Seriously. You know I’m right.

Most of the items I’ve mentioned can be purchased at Target or Walmart, or in bulk at Sam’s Club. So you can get a ton of gifts without blowing your budget. Which is good, considering wedding season (and the dreaded wedding GIFT season) is right around the corner.

The Cheap Chick, Now Taking Requests

Tip Of The Day: Where to go to get great MEN’S shoes. Because men deserve to be well-shod, too, darn it!

Tip For Tomorrow: Stop by to see the companion piece for my Fox 9 News at 5 PM segment – fun and inexpensive graduation gifts for your dorm-bound seniors. Creativity meets frugality, folks. With very little crafting skills required.

Further Elucidation Of My Cheap Deal: This weekend, El Jefe and Larue called with a request – where could he find inexpensive new shoes, both dressy and casual. Now, I love being asked for advice, especially as it pertains to shoes. Oh heck, let’s face it; I love being asked for advice about ANYTHING. I do so love to give out my opinion to the world.

Thus, this blog. And the weekly TV segment. And the weekly radio segment. And just WAIT until I start work on the book… But I digress.

Anyway, I gave El Jefe a variety of shops to choose from:

1. Steve and Barry’s. Most people know they carry a HUGE line of cool, inexpensive sneaks, but they also have professional-looking dress shoes for men. Warning, they aren’t made of the very best leather (or, actual leather at all), so they can get a bit uncomfortable.
However, if you are one of those guys that only wears dress shoes 2 or 3 times a year, this is an AWESOME option for you. Why blow a wad on something you only put on when your wife/mom/girlfriend demands you clean up for once?
The other awesome thing about Steve and Barry’s is their $8.98 Sale. A few times a year, everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, in the store is only $8.98. Jeans, shoes, wool winter coats – it doesn’t matter, it’s $8.98. Call your local store to see if the sale is on right now. It very well could be.
For more information, go here: http://www.steveandbarrys.com/default.aspx.

2. Payless Shoe Source. You know they carry cute and trendy shoes for less for woman, but Payless has lovely dress shoes for your menfolk, too. Best of all? NONE of them have tassels. I loathe, despise, HATE, WISH ILL UPON men’s dress shoes with tassels.
I love the 80’s as much as the next gal, but come on. Some trends must DIE.
Go here to view all the cuteness for boys: http://www.payless.com/Catalog/SLCategory.aspx?TLC=Mens&SLC=MensDress&viewAll=true.

3. Famous Footwear. If you wear dress shoes on a regular basis, and you’re okay with spending a tiny bit more on them, Famous Footwear is an excellent option for you. Their shoes are a higher quality, and therefore, more comfy. As comfy as wearing sneaks? No. But hey, I don’t see you guys wearing 5 inch heels, so quit your whining.
Famous Footwear is also having a sale RIGHT NOW. So you can stock up on shoes for less! And spend the money you save on gifts for your sweetie! Like something sparkly! What an AWESOME idea!
To get the lowdown on the sale, go here: http://www.famousfootwear.com/.

4. Marshalls. How can you not LOVE a store that offers designer shoes for up to 50% off department and shoe store prices? Answer – you can’t. You simply MUST give your love to Marshalls Shoe Megashop.
Their website doesn’t show a lot of the actual shoes for sale (it’s more of a promotional site than shopping site), so you’ll have to actually go to the store to see what they offer.
And while you’re there, perhaps you can pick up a pair of flat-front dress pants. Because pleated pants are evil and look weirdly poufy. Seriously, do you REALLY need all that room up front? I’m thinking no, no you don’t.
Their website does have a store locator, so here you go: http://www.marshallsonline.com/megashoe.asp.

Now go forth and have happy, cute feet. In a totally masculine, butch way, of course.

Shining, Gleaming, Streaming, Flaxen, Waxen

Yup. I REALLY love that musical.

Tip Of The Day: Beauty product reviews for two hair care items – one is a direct hit, one is a swing and a miss. Both, of course, are under $20. Actually, they're under $5.

Tip For The Weekend: You know what’s frugal? Not eating. So I’m going to go ahead and NOT eat for the next couple of days. Primarily because I’ve apparently picked up a nasty intestinal bug, but think of the upside! Without eating, I’ll save money! Which I can spend on shoes! See, there’s a silver lining in EVERYTHING.

Further Elucidation Of My Cheap Deal: There are so many things in life that sound good in theory, but fall apart in real life. Like a Van Halen reunion tour with Diamond Dave. Or those pygmy hedgehogs they’ve been breeding (wouldn’t you be afraid that you’d squash it? Like a bug? By accident one morning when you’re stumbling around, looking for your glasses? You’d feel something prickly underfoot, and then SQUOOSH.)

Or like that girl at my gym who insists on dressing like an ‘after’ photo, when she’s still working through the ‘before, stage. Really? Really? Those are the shorts that best flatter your body? The ones we wore in the 70’s, with knee-high gym socks? The ones you need to be a pre-teen tanaholic who’s never heard the word “cellulite” in order to look good in them?

I’m thinking no. Try capri-length, my friend. They work for booty-licious girls like you and me. And they are always available at Target – often on sale.

Many hair care products are like this, too. Their description sounds so good, and so promising, but the realty of the product is only so-so. Take, for example, Garnier Fructis Sleek and Shine Sheer Leave-in Conditioning Glaze. Because it’s 'Sheer', it's supposed to make fine, wispy hair (like mine) sleek and shiny (thus the name) without weighing it down. All that for just $4.29

Well, they got it half right. The product does make my hair VERY shiny and smooth, eliminating every last visible split end. The down side? My hair is flatter than a crepe when I use it. There is no bounce, there is no pouf – in short, it does in fact weigh down my hair, even with the word 'Sheer' inserted into the incredibly LONG name for the product.

So, to recap, the pros: Smells nice, as all Fructis products do; makes hair very shiny; has a pleasing texture; doesn’t require much product to do the job. The cons: makes your hair flat; takes forever to blow-dry; can be a bit sticky when it is dry.

I guess my search for the perfect hair product to replace Sunsilk’s original formula for Anti-Flat Plumping Crème goes on.

The other product I tried based on the fact it, too, promises shiny hair (and because Target no longer carries Suave’s stuff for blondes – further proof that they HATE ME) is Suave’s new Vibrant Shine hair care line.

Both the shampoo and conditioner deliver. The shampoo smells nice, gets your hair clean without stripping it dry, and won’t hurt your dye-job. So my precious blonde not-found-in-nature highlights are safe. Yeah, I knew you were worried.

The conditioner softens and smoothes hair, rinses out completely (without residue or build-up), and smells as good as the shampoo. Best part? Both products sell for $1.97 a bottle at Target.

And Target? If you stop carrying Vibrant Shine? I will probably go postal on your sorry butt. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.