Tip Of The Day: Don’t go to the mall when you feel yucky – but if you do, here’s the lowdown on what’s on sale.
Tip For Tomorrow: eBay, addiction or good place to find a bargain? You decide.
Further Elucidation Of My Cheap Deal: There are lessons in life everyone must learn – don’t tug on Superman’s cape, don’t spit into the wind, and don’t try on clothes when you feel fat.
Sadly, I forget the latter lesson ALL THE TIME. And today was no exception.
I went to the mall this afternoon to check out the sales and see if I could buy myself a little somethin’ cute and sparkly for my birthday. A gift from me, to me, if you will. It could be anything, just as long as it was under $20 and party-worthy.
Here’s what I found:
1. Macy’s is clearancing out their costume jewelry. You’ll have to dig through piles of truly hideous crap, but there are treasures to be found. Since I just bought a shiny new bauble at Nu Look, I didn’t pick up anything. Aren’t I demonstrating amazing restraint in my old age?
2. The department stores have their winter coats on sale, but will the prices drop further? I think so. My advice? Wait until mid-February, then hit the Macy’s at Brookdale. They always have the biggest and best selection of clearance items in the Twin Cities. However, if you are in dire need of a jacket, go now. We can’t have you freezing to death.
3. The shoe stores are clearancing out their winter styles and leftovers. Warning: they DO run out of sizes, so don’t get too attached to a pair until you confirm they have your size in stock. Unrequited love is too sad.
4. The Limited has lovely sweaters on sale, some of them for under $20. Also, Express has their cami-tanks on sale, 2 for $29.95. And you KNOW how I love a cami-tank.
5. Macy’s has many of their party dresses on sale. I guess it’s time to move out the winter LBD and bring on the spring LBD – even though they look EXACTLY THE SAME.
6. I am fat. Okay, no, I’m not really fat. I recognize that I am fairly thin, especially my arms, calves, and collarbone area. However, my stomach is making a play for the Fattest Part Of My Body Award. Apparently, it’s jealous of the first-place tie my ass and my thighs have held since I entered puberty. So now the area below my boobs and above my knees is causing me great displeasure – not that I ever did a happy dance about that part of my body before.
Every article of clothing I tried on today emphasized my love handles, my newly-emerging back fat (WTF? Since when did THAT happen?), and the celulite on my thighs. Of course, the sight of all this extra flesh sent me running to Taco Bell for nachos. Sigh. Melted cheese IS LOVE, though. And all their entries are under $20.
Shopping Tip: Hit the malls over the next few weeks to find the best deals in winter clearance, plus, you’ll still have time to wear them this season. However, if your body is showing the signs of a very merry holiday season, be sure to go up a size. Then, cut out the tag – no one will know but you.