Group Therapy Thursday: Don't Worry, No One's Watching

Tip Of The Day: It’s time once again for Group Therapy Thursday – your cheapest form of psychiatric treatment (i.e. FREE). This week’s topic? What we get up to when there’s no one else around.

Tip For Tomorrow: All sorts of cheap goodies are afoot and afield, and I’m just the Chick to tell you about them.

Further Elucidation Of My Cheap Deal: Good eeeevvvvening, my wee Chickadees! And welcome to Group Therapy Thursday – the blogosphere’s version of sitting around in a circle, discussing our issues with total strangers. Minus the bad coffee, stale cigarettes, and powdered donuts.

Why Group Therapy Thursday? I say, why not? Why not share our deepest, darkest secrets with the Void when we get the chance? It’s anonymous, non-judgy, and best of all, FREE. So step right in and sit right down. Therapy is now in session.

Today we’re talking about hidden behavior – the stuff we do when no one else can see us doing it. Whatever “it” may be. Shrinks looooove getting us to talk about the things that happen behind closed doors. Secrets are their bread and butter.

Therefore, in keeping with proper therapeutic procedure, tonight we are sharing the following: What secret activities do you engage in when there are no probing eyes to pass judgment on you?

Okay, FINE. I’ll go first.

1. I read endless costumers’ dress diary blogs. Even though A. I don’t sew, B. I don’t now how to sew even if I wanted to, and C. I bully Larue into making all my costumes anyway, so why do I research how to do it myself?
(Ooo! You’re going to LOVE the latest costume I’ve talked her into making. It’s a Raven outfit - the mythical creature, not the Disney Saturday Morning Show character – that she’s creating for the Bristol Ren Fest.)Speaking of the Bristol Fest, Larue and I recently began stalking the co-director of the Fest, Melissa (aka Sempstress at sempstress.org), asking her to be our new best friend. I guess that would qualify as another weird behavior I engage in when I’m by myself – stalking awesome Ren Fest costumers, demanding their friendship. God I’m bossy.


2. I like to read in the bathroom. It’s true; my favorite place in the whole world to read a book is on the john. The pot, the throne, seeing-a-man-about-a-horse, the WC. In short, I read whilst “setting a spell,” as my friend El Jefe puts it.
To be fair, I come from a long line of pot-readers – my dad, my mom, my brother, my grandparents – they all sat in the bathroom to read. It makes sense if you think about it. No one’s going to disturb you there, it’s quiet, and you may as well do something productive if you’re going to be hanging out awhile.
The only downside? It’s not an appropriate location for snacking. Although it would save time, I can’t eat while I sit on the pot. Ick.

3. Each night, I check for monsters. Ever since my brother told me that The Boogeyman lives in the crawlspace/attic next to my bedroom door, I’ve had to check for the things that go bump (in a bad way) before I go to bed.
This requires the following steps:
a. Check the bedroom closet door, to make sure it’s locked. The locking closet door was a key feature of my new townhouse.
b. Look under the bed.
c. Lock the basement door, to keep the basement monsters in check.
d. Shut the remaining closet doors throughout the entire house.
e. Leave the lamp next to my bed burning. And the hall light. And the downstairs hall light. And usually the lamp on the other side of my bedroom, for good measure.

What can I say? I’m afraid of the dark. And monsters. And sharks, piranhas, bugs, large killer bears, lions and tigers… Oh my. I think I’ll stop before I totally freak myself out. That kind of defeats the purpose of Group Therapy.

Speaking of which, I’ve done my part and shared. Now it’s your turn. What is your secret, by-yourself behavior? Don’t worry. Unlike your spouse or children, we won’t judge you.