Sunday, September 9, 2007

"But I Don't Want To Look Like A Hooker"

The above title is an abridged quote from my SIL. We were having our makeup done for her wedding to my brother, The Golden Idol, and she feared the worse. I pointed out to her she would need to have about 20 pounds of crap shellacked onto her face to make her look even vaguely slutty, but still. No woman wants to look trashy - except during Halloween and the Ren Fest, then we're all 'bring out your whore.'

With this in mind, it behooves us to use makeup that makes us look pretty and NOT like a street walker. For me, my biggest slut offender is mascara. Either my lashes all clump together into one mono-lash, or it schmears under my eyes for that oh-so attractive "I just shot up heroin and boy are my eyes tired" look.


FINALLY I have found the perfect mascara to eliminate these issues - Clinique's Naturally Glossy Mascara for a "natural" look - natural if my lashes were pitch black and shiny and a mile long. Which, clearly, they are not.
It's more expensive than I like - $14.95, but it's the only mascara I've ever actually used up. Not throw away, not get pissed at, but used up. Plus it's in a pretty silver tube. Shiny object! I love those. Plus number 2, you can find the stuff at any department store or Ulta. Plus number 3, and most important, it's under $20. Yay!

4 comments:

Army Girl said...

I do love my Crocs for being outside in the yard and they are great at the beach. Or when someone drops something on your foot, breaks it, and you can't wear anything else because of swelling.

Uggs? Keep my feet warm when shoveling snow. Or delivering flyers. Otherwise they are RIGHT OUT.

I use the Redhead mascara. Otherwise I look like a redhead with strange black eyelashes. And ladies? Go minimal with the mascara. No one wants to have only 3 large clumpy eyelashes on each eye. TRUST ME. I know what I'm talking about.

The Cheap Chick said...

Are you referring to a certain parental figure???

HaC said...

Just a question...were the Manolos ever actually in?!? Also, for the record, Birkenstocks do NOT come in a "cute" variety - functional, comfortable, orthopedic surgeon-friendly, yes, but cute? Never!

I'm currently having allergy issues, therefore am unable to wear mascara (we don't want to: a) draw attention to my red, puffy, watery eyes or b) increase said redness, puffiness and wateriness). Sigh.

I'm quite horrified by any boot-esque product that looks like it could have been worn by Peter Pan or Robin (as in Batman and...). Why do they do that to perfectly nice footwear?

The Cheap Chick said...

The Manolos could have been in... if I ever sold a million dollar house, or hooked up with a sugar daddy. Or, just saved my damn money like I should.
I agree with the Birks issue - not cute. Birks, Uggs, and Crocs have a purpose in life, but their purpuse is not, nor ever has been, to be cute. Practical, functional, and good for you, but THAT IS IT.