Thursday, September 6, 2007

Crap-tastic Crap-tacular Crap - Or, Why My Week Sucks

As I've mentioned a billion times before, I am a Realtor. As such, I work for a local (and extremely well known) brokerage, under the tutelage of my MOST AWESOME manager. Now, my MOST AWESOME manager has been transferred to another office, and God knows who we'll all end up with. This, along with the righteous cold/allergies I'm suffering from have joined forces to make me very cranky. Forewarned is forearmed, y'all. Don't make it worse, please. Be nice to me, or I'll hunt you down and sneeze on you.

So, in honor of my crankiness, I thought I'd complain about a shopping phenomena that truly drives me round the bend: The Expensive Beauty Product.

I started to really notice the TEBP when I started to read (study, worship) Lucky Magazine. This is a fine mag about shopping for clothes and beauty products, and I wait on baited breath every month for the new edition.

However. They write about things like $18 hand soap, $35 shave cream, and $55 candles. WTF??? These are NOT the prices I (or anyone I know) spend on household/beauty items; these are obscene prices for not-particularly-useful things. They are an outrage to my deeply frugal soul. Plus, who uses shave cream when hair conditioner works better and is cheaper? And I get annoyed when my hand soap costs more than $2.

Then, just to make me nuts (I'm sure), the Lucky ladies calmly go on to discuss items like some $350 face cream made from extracts of these special grape vines in Italy or worse, Creme De La Mer and Dr. Brandt. Have you seen the price tags for these two brands? I could pay off my home mortgage with what they charge.

Even the so-called "drugstores" brands have gotten ridiculous. Just get a load of the rip-off that is the new Oil of Olay lines. $25 for Oil of Olay??? Excuse me??? It's Oil friggin' Olay.

So, in defiance to over-priced products everywhere, here is a brief list of some of the things I use that are actually a bargain. Happy savings!

1. Queen Helene products. You can find them at any Ulta store, and occasionally at Target. In particular, I love their Mint Julep Mask with sulfur. My skin doctor told me sulfur is an excellent cure for zits, even though it smells like rotten eggs. They also make body lotions and facial scrubs. Best part? One huge container is less than $4.
2. Porcelana skin cream. It's got 2% hydroquinone, that stuuf that reduces facial discoloration (i.e. brown spots), plus broad-spectrum sun screen to prevent new spots from spotting you up. AND, it's only $9. You can find it at Snyder's in the skin care aisle.
3. Sunsilk Anti-Flat Hair Cream. For less than $5 a bottle (it's the yellow bottle, by the way), you get a creamy goop that prevents frizz, gives your hair decent body and shine, and doesn't smell like crap. Plus, I LOVE the commercials. I wish I could toss my hair like that.
4. Rimmel Eye Liner/Eyebrow Pencils. These pencils sharpens like a dream, goes on smooth and even, and smears in a way that makes you look sexy, not sloppy. All for less than $4. But no, it won't turn you into Kate Moss. No cocaine for you!


Anonymous said...

Right now, Piglet Halloween costumes.

What do you think?

Army Girl said...

I love movie tickets for $5.00 during the day to go see the new movie with Clive Owen. Although I think I would spend more than $20 on Clive Owen if given the chance.


Also - make-up. I spend $14 each on mascara, etc., but that is because I wear Redhead specific make-up. Which is DAMN hard to find, because otherwise I look like my brother, or a hooker. I don't know which is worse.

I also buy expensive shampoo from Target (massive bottle for $20) because my hair doesn't like cheap shampoo. It rebels. And hey - if I buy the $24 bottle of shampoo but everyone in my family uses it, is this against the $20 rule?

And where did this y'all thing come from? Who are you? Queen of the Magnolias? Heh.

HaC said...

Most of the Mary Kay items are under $20 - especially for me since I'm a consultant and I pay half! I have also found some E.L.F. products I really like - CHEAP, but good! (And, for the record, I only bought things that MK doesn't carry, so I was not disloyal!)

Like Army Girl, I have to spend more on my hair care products, as I have head allergies, but Burt's Bees shampoo and conditioner are less than $10 each and don't give me hives. It's tragic that I'm such a princess.

Check out for super cute, inexpensive footwear. The website quality isn't great, but the prices are phenomenal (and they're brands I've heard of, which is a bonus). It was all I could do to not spend the $70 and get free shipping - and $70 would have gotten me 5 pairs of shoes!

The Cheap Chick said...

Oh, my God - Piglet as the Devil! It's too perfect.
And Army Girl, read the previous Comments section about my grammar and word choice. You have your own damn blog to not say y'all in, you know I say y'all all the time, and I will y'all if I want to.
Y'all come back now, hear?