Clearly, We Weren't Thinking

My Ma and I decided that for the first time in about 5 years, we'd go to the day-after-Thanksgiving sales. Apparently those 5 years had dulled our memory of the pain and suffering that is shopping on Black Friday.

If we were thinking clearly, we would have stayed home and translated the Dead Sea Scrolls, without access to Wikipedia, while the Jonas Brothers and Hannah Montana performed a battle of the bands in Ma’s living room – all which would have been soooo less tedious, time-consuming, noisy, and insanely annoying.

It started out so promising - we hit Half Price Books at 6:50 AM and got our $5 off anything coupon. The store was not overly crowded, and I found 6 kids books for my various and sundry kids. I didn't even have to wait to check out.

Then we hit the major retailers. And all hell broke loose.

Did you go to Kohl's today? Did you shop for hours, only to find they were out of the ONE DAMN THING you needed from Kohl's? And, when your Ma found the ONE DAMN THING she needed, did you wait in line for over an hour to pay for it?

Did you go to Herbergers? With your $10 off anything coupon clutched in your hand, only to find that all the things you would ever buy at Herbergers were excluded from that coupon and the other 6 coupons you had painstakingly cut out of the paper?

Did you go to ANOTHER Kohl's, only to find that the ONE DAMN THING you needed was sold out of that store, too?

And, when you were ready to kill yourself and every other Christmas shopper, did you find exactly what you needed at the one store you should have started with? That store, of course, being Target.

NOTE: Ma and I did find many other delightful items at Kohl's, and the staff was beyond helpful. I should have just hauled my lazy ass out of bed at 4 AM to hit the start of their sale. But I do NOT love anyone on my Christmas list enough to get out of bed that early. Sorry.