Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Being Cheap Is Cool. Being A Cheapskate Is Not.

Tip Of The Day: Cheap movie theaters in the TC, perfect for date night. Just don’t skimp on the snacks.

Tip For Tomorrow: To all the shoes I’ve loved before. A quick peak at the strappy sandals I can’t wait to wear – as soon as it stops snowing. Which, in MN, should be sometime in May. Sigh.

Further Elucidation Of My Cheap Deal: It happened again. I had ANOTHER disastrous date – this time, a movie date. To make matters worse? The movie sucked, too.

Now, I love going to the movies. I love the popcorn, I love the previews, and I love the camaraderie of watching something with a whole big bunch of people. Just as long as everyone’s cell phones are turned off. If I hear one ring in a theater, I’m likely to open up a can of whoop-ass. I’m just sayin’.

However, I generally do NOT like going to the movies on a first date. There’s too much enforced intimacy – you have to lean in real close to talk, it is dark, there are usually love scenes – the whole thing should be saved for a fourth or fifth date.

But the guy who asked me out REALLY wanted to see a movie. He was REALLY into movies (a trait I usually love), and REALLY wanted to see all the Oscar-nominated movies before the awards show. Personally, I could skip every Oscar movie – except for the ones nominated for sound or effects or costumes. Those tend to be fun.

Due to scheduling conflicts, we ended going to our movie after the Academy Awards, but he STILL wanted to see an award movie. We settled on Charlie Wilson’s War at the Hopkins.

The Hopkins is my most favorite theater in the entire world. What’s not to like? It’s cheap ($2.50 regular, $1.50 Tuesdays), it has good snacks, and the staff is fabulous. Plus, they tend to run movies I want to see. Unfortunately, Charlie Wilson’s War was not one of them.

Since I’m not a movie critic, I won’t bore you with a lengthy description of why this movie sucked. But rest assured, I no longer care for the oeuvre of Tom Hanks. Or Julia Roberts, for that matter. Phillip Seymour Hoffman can do no wrong, but there are WAAAYYYY better movies to see him in. In short, avoid this flick.

Also, avoid men who take you to a cheap movie theater, offer to buy your ticket, and then ask you to pay for the snacks. My ticket? $2.50. Our snacks combined? $15.75. DO YOU SEE THE DISCREPANCY HERE?

Naturally, I pointed this out to Mr. Parsimonious, in a very polite way. Because I am nothing if not polite. He looked at me blankly and said, “Well, if we had seen this in a full-priced theater, we’d be about even, right?” Umm, no, we wouldn’t be, but whatever.

I then pointed out that we were, in fact, NOT at a full price theater. And do you know what he said? DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAID?!?!?!?

“Wow, you really ARE cheap, aren’t you?” I kid you not.

Gentlemen, let me explain something to you. If you ask a woman out on a date, it is common practice to then PAY for said date. Going Dutch is not really acceptable behavior. However, I am a modern woman, and I am comfortable with going halvsies, especially on a first date. As long as the halvsies are, in fact, HALF.

But if YOU ask out ME, please do not expect ME to pay MORE than YOU do, for the supposed glory of your company. You could possibly be ‘all that’, but how do I know? You could also suck, like Charlie Wilson’s War. And why on EARTH would I want to pay for a potentially sucky evening, when I could be home watching Sex And The City reruns and eating Totino’s Party Pizzas?

Needless to say, I seethed throughout the entire movie. Not only was the show bad, my date was bad, and I was out $15.75. Not to mention, I had to drive 40 minutes to get to Hopkins (so I had wasted gas) AND I had wasted perfectly good make-up on this jackwad. I’ll never get that make-up, gas, time or money back. And wastefulness is soooo not frugal.

Lesson learned? Cheap movie theaters rock, and are completely appropriate for a date. As long as you then spring for your date’s popcorn and drink.

Lesson learned, part two? I may be cheap, but I am fabulous. And that guy? Not fabulous, and not getting any. At least, not from me.

Cheap Theaters in the TC:
Plaza Maplewood Theater, 651-770-7969, $1.50 all the time
Mann Hopkins Cinema 6, 952-931-7992, $1.50 on Tuesdays, $2.50 regular
GTI Roseville 4 Theater, 651-488-4242, $1 on Tuesdays, but I heard that it was kind of stinky inside
Riverview Theater, 612-729-7369, $3 max, tons of good reviews
Brookdale 8 Cinemas, 763-566-6721, $3 for second run, also shows Bollywood movies for full price
Mann Maple Grove 10, 763-420-4747, $3 max, my second fave

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Seriously?! I would have had a hard time not just saying, "Sorry, dude. I've changed my mind about this date. Goodnight." and walked out. You had your own car - next time ditch the jerk.

Michelle said...

Wow... that is a horrible date! I am so sorry for you! I think he's the cheap one-- and quite rude. Seriously, that is awful.

The Roseville 4 is my favorite cheap theater. It is a dollar on Tuesday and they have the best popcorn ever-- they top it with real butter and not buttery topping. I think the food is cheaper than at a regular theater.

LaRue said...

Remember the Boulevard theatre in Minneapolis? Where a movie was only $.99? And candy was cheaper than a dollar? And then after the movie (which was of course in black and white) they taught us how to make fire? Ah, the good times.

But seriously - I love cheap theatres. They are fabulous. And they also sell movie coupons, which make wonderful (and CHEAP!) gifts. And they have second-hand popcorn or something, like they got to choose second at the corn bartering show. But you know WHAT? It is still good, because it is movie popcorn, and it is an entire food class unto itself. It is really one of the only times it is acceptable to pour melted fat on a carbohydrate, then load it with salt and eat IT. YUM.

Topic? Your date was an ass. You can do better. I know this mechanical engineer.... ;)

standing still said...

First of all, I love the first commenter's recommendation that you leave before the movie, but I wouldn't have had the balls to do it.
Second, if you give me the guy's e-mail address, I'll send him a tip to read your blog, unless he's reading it already in which case, "too bad, dude ... you're toast."
Third, if LaRue wants to set you up with a mechanical engineer, run.

kristine said...

How sucky! What a jerk for expecting you to pay and then calling you cheap. Jerk, jerk, jerk!
I will just add, I worked at the Roseville 4 in high school and I still looove going there. It doesn't stink in there at all. They have recently done some remodeling and changed out a lot of the seats. The 2nd person is right - they do use real butter - if you can believe that (which most people don't believe it) I love therir popcorn and could still eat it daily!

Marketing Mama said...

OMG - I'm sorry your date sucked, but that was hilarious to read. I hope he reads your blog... I can't believe he called YOU cheap when he was the one being cheap. At least if you had advance notice of his "plan" you could have brought your own snacks and saved a boatload of money. ha ha.

PPC™ said...

You had the patience of a saint by staying for the movie. Had he said that to me, I'd have responded "Really?" and turned and walked out immediately. Being out the $15-some would be worth leaving him at a theater looking stupid. Sure, you'd get the B-moniker, but you'd be the winner each and every time he told the story.

LaRue said...

Standing Still - don't worry - the Chick and I have been friends for years and I would NEVER set her up AGAIN. Once was enough for her to live to tell the tale. The engineer thing is a joke between us. Right Chick?

jilly said...

Another good movie theater tip, Kerasotes theaters, there is Showplace in Coon Rapids and one in Inver Grove Heights, they have a "club" that you can sign up for, you get a card in the mail, and every week you get an email with $5 first run movies and the show times. Now I am not endorsing this, but my boyfriend and I also do double features on a regular basis, we figure out what is playing when and what we want to see and how long they are. Also, at some movie theaters refills of any size on popcorn and soda are free.

I would have left the guy right there.

Norwego said...

I love that you said "I could be home watching Sex And The City reruns and eating Totinos Party Pizzas"!
Because really, what is better than that? Nothing I tell you. Especially if you are doing said two activities on the couch, in your pajamas. My boyfriend thinks it's weird. Men just don't get it.

Ben said...

Hands down, the Riverview has the BEST movie popcorn around. And it is inexpensive as well!

Why walk out on the movie and date after you spent so much on snacks? There is nothing more awkward than eating movie popcorn outside of a movie theater!

The recovering procrastinator said...

Sadly, Roseville 4 (which I have found to be sticky but not really stinky) is closing, possibly the end of this month.

Here's a relatively cheap first-run theater, though I have not been there:
Woodbury 10, $6 tickets and $4 matinees.

Anonymous said...

Quit your whining. The women's right's movement was supposed to put an end to this sort of nonsense, the idea that men always have to pay for everything. Bull. Women make something like 80 cents to every dollar a man makes which means they are more than capable of paying for crap on their own. As far as wasting your makeup, etc. is concerned, if you were truly cheap you would know better than to bother with that stuff anyway, since makeup in and of itself is a superfluous item, and therefore a waste of money to begin with.

I don't buy your argument. Women are the ones who need to grow with the times and realize that if they want equality, that means they have to be seen as equal to men. Their collective strive for equality in society ideally should mean that they are no longer deserving of the "royal treatment." If women are so independent nowadays, then they should pay for their own shit. End of discussion.

Hannah said...

hey anonymous. if you are so confident in your philosophy then why not give us a name.
to defend her the problem wasn't paying for herself it was paying triple what the other person payed. and that, i am sorry, isn't at all about womans rights. that was a jerk move on anyones part.

I'm sorry you had to deal with that! the nerve to call you cheap! thank you for all the cheap movie theater recommendations, im new to MN and i was missing my old cheap spot back home :]
i might just have to check out rosedale because of all the good popcorn reviews

Anonymous said...

Hey Hannah, I'll stop giving my unsolicited opinions as soon as you stop giving yours. Until then, drink a nice tall glass of shut the fuck up. And no, you can't have my name (or phone number, or address, or anything else, you dirty slut).

So she paid "triple what he paid." So what? It's about time the tables were turned as far as dating was concerned. Hell, if it were up to me, women would be paying for everything for the next.....oh how's about 9 bazillion years? They have a lot of catching up to do, you know.

But believe me, I'm not saying this guy was a genius or anything. Actually, he's an idiot. If he were smart he would have known better than to go on a date with this dumb broad in the first place.