Thursday, July 3, 2008

Donserly Light


When I was a wee Chicklette, that’s what I thought the lyrics to the National Anthem were – ‘By the Donserly light.’ And I thought to myself, “Self, what in the HELL are Donserly lights? Are they pretty? Are they sparkly? Will I see them in my lifetime, or are they elusive, like the Aurora Borealis?”
Yeah, I was a fairly precocious child.


Tip Of The Day: All the cheap and fabulous things I’m doing to celebrate the Birth Of Our Nation (was it a C-section? Did they use an epidural? Did the mother opt for a tummy lift afterwards?).
I’ll tell you what I’m doing, and then you tell me what you’re doing, and maybe we can hook up.

Tip For Tomorrow: In honor of our birthed nation, a product review! Of a night cream that’s supposed to make my skin as smooth as a baby’s booty. Get it? Birth? Baby? Never mind, my humor is WASTED on you people.

Further Elucidation Of My Cheap Deal: Back in my wild, misspent youth, the 4th of July meant two things to me – heavy drinking and kissing random boys. But then back in the day, EVERY day meant opportunity to drink and make out. Sigh. I miss my early twenties. However, my liver does not.

Now that I’m a mature 35 year-old woman (that’s right, I said it. I’m 35.), my days of wild partying and meaningless men are well and truly in the past. Today, the 4th of July represents a time to bond with family and friends, check out a parade or two, visit one of our local attractions, and TOTALLY BLOW OFF MY DIET.

Oh, and attempt to avoid the heat. Because it gets damn hot in the TC on the 4th. It could be 50 degrees on July 3rd, but come the dawn of the 4th, temps will shoot up into the 100’s. I think it’s God’s way of torturing marching bands.

Here’s what I’m doing this Fourth, plus a few other good things to check out if you plan on being in our fair city(s) tomorrow:

1. Making a lovely, multi-course breakfast at home. Instead of spending a ton of money on a fancy brunch, stay in and cook that recipe you’ve been dying to try. You don’t have to work, so what’s the rush? Breakfast at 10 AM is completely respectable, and still allows for sleeping in – another 4th favorite.
Ma and I are having homemade scones (real ones, not those nasty, crusty things you get at Starbucks) with fresh-picked strawberry sauce.

2. Check out a local parade. Who says you have to go to your community’s parade? Skip over a town and see what they’ve got cooking. Or, visit the Cheap Chick Home Town (Richfield), and watch their huge 4th Parade
.
Richfield also hosts a killer Street Dance
, fireworks, a carnival, and all sorts of other celebratory goodies.

3. Visit a local attraction and support our state. There are plenty of inexpensive and fun places to visit in the TC, like Como Park, Minnehaha Parkway, or where Ma and I are going, The MN Landscape Arboretum
.
Walk around, work off that huge breakfast, see the prettiness, and enjoy one of the many perks of living in the U.S. – cool stuff to do in every state.

4. Crash a party. You have friends, right? At least ONE of them is having a party tomorrow, so go there – it’s cheaper than throwing your own shindig, and a lot less hassle, too. For example, my buds Larue and El Jefe have an explosive 4th bash every year, with enough fireworks to torch a small town. That’s where I’ll be, come 4 PM.
Invite yourself over (the more the merrier), but bring along a hostess gift. I recommend a 6 or 12-pack of a good beer. For example, El Jefe is getting some Boddingtons, courtesy of yours truly.

5. Grill at home. The Fourth of July is the perfect time to fire up the grill and eat at home. Which, once again, is cheaper than dining out. Plus, this gives you the perfect opportunity to destroy your diet with brats, potato salad, coleslaw, and my family’s favorite, Kettle Chips.
Those Kettle Chips will be the death of my saddle bags, I swear. I could eat a whole bag in 5 seconds…

6. Skip the fireworks and watch a movie. I know it’s un-American, but I HATE fireworks. They’re noisy, it’s always so crowded, and the mosquitoes have it in for me every year. Plus you waste gas driving to a good location to watch them, and then even more gas on the way home when you’re stuck in post-firework traffic. Ugh.
For me, this is the perfect opportunity to snuggle up in my Ma’s freezing basement and watch that Harry Potter film I missed last year. I hear it’s good.

Anyhoo, that’s what I’m up to. Now I’m dying to know: What are you doing for the Fourth Of July?

5 comments:

mia said...

My last July 4th in DC...I'm probably going to try to go to the Smithsonian Folklife Festival on the Mall...they usually have all kinds of tasty food and stuff.

mia said...

After reading your post, I went out and got a bag of Miss Vickie's brand kettle chips and an iced tea. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

Amy the Mom said...

Enjoying the most glorious weather that could possibly exist after the worst winter ever. Also, moving furniture back after an extensive paint job (if your clients need a VERY reasonable professional painter-I got em) and being grateful for a three day weekend.

LaRue said...

Apparently I am throwing a 4th of July party tomorrow.....

Kidding. Seriously. What with the broken hip for Gma, it is going to be a quiet 4th tomorrow, unlike the 4th of seasons past where the fireworks in the backyard would go on for SO LONG that small children would actually say to me, "Aunt Larue? When are the fireworks going to be over?"

And THAT my friend, is when you know you have a fireworks problem. Although I do miss Archie squirting people in the parade with he hose. Ahhh, good times.

mia said...

It is now July 5, and I have to say two things:

DEAR EVERYONE PASSING THROUGH MY NEIGHBORHOOD ON THE WAY TO THE NATIONAL MALL: STOP LEAVING YOUR TRASH EVERYWHERE.

DEAR DC INTERNS: STOP USING JULY 4TH WEEKEND AS AN EXCUSE TO HARASS WOMEN AND SHOW OFF YOUR (LACK OF) DRINKING AND DEBATING SKILLS (APPARENTLY YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED WE HAVE A WHOLE SEGMENT OF THE POPULATION THAT DO THESE THINGS FOR A LIVING AND MUCH BETTER THAN YOU DO).

That is all.