Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Everybody HHUUURRRRTTTTSSSS...

Sometimes. Thank you, REM, for that piece of wisdom.

And today, apparently, is my day to hurt. Once again, for the second time this fall but who’s counting, I am sick. Does God hate me? If I attend Mass more, will the illnesses go away? Is my next stop on the Sickness Express (less exotic than the Orient Express, but without the murder) the bubonic plague? Or maybe I just need to consume more vitamins.

Let's go with the vitamin consumption theory, as I’d hate to think God was mad at me. Clearly, I am not getting enough vitamin C, or B, or Zinc, or whatever it is that will keep me healthy for longer than 10 minutes. So how can I pack on the nutrients without ACTUALLY having to eat fruits and vegetables? Or swallowing a horse pill everyday? And can the solution be artificially orange flavored?

Why YES IT CAN. The Cheap Chick is proud to introduce y'all to my favorite cold-reduction product, Emergen-C.

I first heard about Emergen-C in Allure magazine, when one of their writers was touting its skin-improving benefits. I don't know if my skin looks any better when I take it, but Emergen-C does seem to reduce the number of colds I get.

Here's what you do. First you buy a box of approximately 40 little packets, or steal it, if that’s your gig. In each packet is some powder that you dump into your water and, here is the best part, it fizzes up. Like soda! Only good for you! And less likely to cause childhood obesity!

Then, dur, you drink it. And what you are drinking is this: 1,667% of your daily allowance of vitamin C, 500% vitamin B6, and 417% vitamin B12, plus some Zinc and some other crap that's good for you. No, those are not typos.

The next best part, second to the fizzing action, is the flavors this stuff comes in. Orange! Tangerine! Raspberry (icky, but some people like it)! Cranberry! And each packet is only 20 calories, so you can drink a billion of them a day and not get fat.

I've found Emergen-C at Target, the "natural foods" section of my grocery store, and at good-for-you grocery stores like Whole Foods. Target, of course, has it for the cheapest at approximately $9.00 per box, depending on whether or not it is on sale. And Target WILL put it on sale, because they're cool like that.

If you don't want to commit to a whole box, Whole Foods and their ilk do sell the individual packets for around $1 each. Sampling! Trying it before you buy it! All things I approve of heartily.

Get Healthy Product Of The Day: Emergen-C. Fizzy orange drink that's better for you than juice, and with fewer calories. Take THAT fruits and veggies!

4 comments:

LaRue said...

For shame! Encouraging people to steal. However, I do hope you fee better.

Anonymous said...

One word...

PURELL

And when the police stop you and ask if they smell achohol, you can blame it.

Husband of Larue (aka El Jefe)

The Material Girl said...

I second Larue's comment - we cannot encourage such behavior. Naughty Godmommy!

The Cheap Chick said...

Sigh. I did not encourage stealing, I just said do it if that's your gig.

It's hard to be a tortured, misunderstood writer.