Pants. Ahh, pants. Shopping for them is the bane of my existence. Just in case I forget just how large and in charge my big-ass booty is, all I have to do is try on pants to be amply reminded of how ample my ass is. Sigh.
I really do have a hard time finding pants that fit, regardless of the price tag. First off, I have freakishly long legs, so I usually have to get Talls. But then, about 2 years ago, clothing manufacturers extended the length of Talls to approximately 1 inch longer. So now Talls are too long, and Regulars are too short.
Next, I have a disproportionately big butt and saddle-bags, so I usually have to go up a size. Except when I DO go up a size, the waistband is ginormous.
I know I’m not alone in my waistband-to-ass ratio complaint. In fact, the lovely people at Lane Bryant LISTENED to consumers and solved this problem with their new 3 styles of jeans. One style is perfect for the woman with more junk in her trunk – the waist fits true, and the booty has room to maneuver. Nice!
Why don’t all clothing manufacturers do this? Do they take delight in making me feel bad in the dressing room? I think they might.
I tried on 25 PAIRS OF PANTS today and nothing worked. Nothing. That just isn’t fair. I had to go buy an ice cream treat to feel better.
So tomorrow I am off to the consignment store, where I can always find pants that fit at a price that won’t make me howl. I think it’s the sheer volume of options that allows me to get what I need. Plus, if I only spend $8 on a pair, I can justify the $10 for alterations, which is $2 less than my allotment. See? Math is fun.
Shops For Tomorrow: A variety of consignment stores, starting with Saver’s. No, Saver’s doesn’t trigger the MN Alert! There are Saver’s in 23 states, with the majority of them in Washington. They are also to be found in Canada and Australia, which is kinda random but cool.
I’ll also hit Value Village while I’m out and about. Value Village is run by the same folks who run Saver’s (check out their EXACTLY THE SAME websites), and they are located in the same states and countries.
Besides pants, I will be on the prowl for Christmas gifts. Tis the season to not make it all about me!