Monday, March 10, 2008

Preconceived Notion

Above: Wee little pots of happiness. Otherwise known as make-up.

Tip Of The Day: How my inaccurate assumptions kept me from looking pretty-oh-so-pretty, and how I finally saw the light. For less, of course.

Tip For Tomorrow: Be Irish for the day! Even if your last name is Johnson. The lowdown on great Saint Patrick’s Day events going in St. Paul and Minneapolis.

Further Elucidation Of My Cheap Deal: Encarta Dictionary (don’t you just LOVE that function?) defines preconceived as, “formed in the mind in advance, especially if based on little or no information or experience and reflecting personal prejudices.”

Well. That pretty much sums up how I think about everything, all the time.

One preconceived notion I held all through high school, and until my senior year in college, was that I would meet my husband by the time I received my BA in Advertising. Because, of course, 21 is the VERY BEST AGE for someone to get engaged. Especially if that someone is as mature and wise as I am.

Instead of meeting Mr. Right, I met, and dated, several members of my college wrestling team (I went to school in Iowa), too many Phi Delts, a couple of “townies,” and one young man whose last name was unfortunately spelled (and pronounced) a bit too much like “F&%k You.” Oddly enough, he was a jerk, and oddly enough, I didn’t marry any of these strapping (and often drunk) young men.

But I did have fun. Go figure.

In recent times, my preconceived ideas have been a little less marriage-centric and salacious. For example, I assumed for YEARS that the only way to get a smoky, defined eye was to use super-dark eye shadow. You just cake a bunch on and presto! Instant rock and roll chic. Yeah, not so much.

What I discovered was this: I am quite bad at applying eye shadow. And super-dark eye shadow is really tricky to put on properly. Too often, I wound up looking cartoonish, or slutty, or like someone clocked me in a fit of rage. Not cute.

So, in a vain attempt to look normal, I would blend and blend and blend that dark eye shadow, trying to make it look right. For what felt like HOURS. And in the end, I’d be bored, kind of hungry, and left with the slightest hint of the super-dark shadow smudged across my lids. Clearly, this was not a productive use of my time.

Then FINALLY (about a week ago) it occurred to me. Why not use a lighter shadow and just apply more of it? It would be easier to blend in, and I wouldn’t look beaten up. A win-win situation, if you ask me.

So I did just that. I bought Cover Girl Eye Enhancers in Mink for $3.14 and Boots No. 7 Stay Perfect Shadow in Bloom for $5.99. At Target, naturally. Both products glide on smoothly, deliver excellent coverage, and are flattering to my almost-but-not-quite hazel-ish eyes.

Thanks to Cover Girl and Boots, I can slap on as much eye shadow as I want, and it always looks smoky and seductive. As do I (okay, why are you laughing? I do TOO look smoky and seductive! Shut up.) No more slutty, bruised clown-girl for me.

Quick Shout Out To HaC: You can also buy lovely, medium-to-light eye shadows from Mary Kay for just $6.50 a pot. They also have darker “Accent” shades for those of you more talented than I. Which should be approximately everyone.

If you would like to buy Mary Kay from HaC, e-mail me and I’ll pass on your information to her. I’d tell you how to contact her directly, but I don’t want you bogarting my friend. Get your own homies.

As for any lingering notions of marriage, I have just one: if my last few dates have taught me anything, it is that I am meant to live alone. Don’t believe me? Refresh your memory here:
And, of course, here:

I’m just saying, don’t break out the wedding announcements quite yet.


The Material Girl said...

Bless your little pea-picking heart!

LaRue said...

Hey! For those of us redheads, also makes redhead appropriate eye shadow colors, as well as non-black (or that phony black-brown that is black, seriously) mascara. Its a beautiful thing.

Speaking as someone who DID get married at 21, (which really is too young to get married, but I like my husband, so it all worked out) it is really best to give your brain time to finish maturing (I believe the scientific age is 25) before you start thinking that that guy you are seeing who is so hot and is a Bad Boy is the one you will turn to the good side, and you will happily live forever in romantic love, whilst getting caught in the rain and drinking those pina coladas.

As for you? Date/don't date, marry/don't marry, just be free to go have pie on a fairly regular basis. That's all I ask, really. And you know it is all about me.

Bionic Beauty said...

Pictures, pictures! This post is worthless without photos of your painted up peepers! :)

lol, i crack myself up, and you crack me up too. Glad you found some shadows that work for you. And I hadn't tried the Boots shadows, so now I know a bit more about 'em. Gracias chica!

mia said...

I use the Cover Girl Eye Enhancers too. I like the Champagne and Disco Ball shades (shimmery nude and silver) because they give my eyelids some subtle sparkle and shimmer without making me look like I'm heading to a rave.